Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Today was fun!

Bullshit it was fun. I pretended to work and I ate some pizza - basically a full day in my life. The highlight came at 11 when Mike called and asked if Miller Lite was okay for our kegs. We would have had PBR but the retard that "helped" Mike yesterday gave him the run-around because well, who the fuck knows. If this jerk-off hadn’t been a complete moe, we might be awaiting the arrival of two gorgeous PBR kegs.
So we went from a high quality, amazing, delicious, scrumptious keg of Pabst Blue Ribbon to Miller Lite. Now I know what you're saying "But Stephen, Miller Lite is running for President of beer! Surely it must be good." To this I would obviously respond by saying the following "Yeah dumbass? Well George Bush is our president so how fucking bad must Miller Lite taste if that's the president of beers?"
PBR is a Blue Ribbon beer! Its award winning. It's like saving up a whole lot of money to get a really highly recommended hooker and then finding out she's already booked so you just have the President come to your bachelor party...whoopdifuckingdo. Metaphor or no metaphor, Miller Lite is a kick in the knickers compared to PBR.
Then this afternoon I ate a couple of chicken wings, drank a beer and watched Ocean’s 11. Isn’t Julia Roberts amazing!? What a woman. She’s so elegant and beautiful. Please. She’s like the Versace that ate right. Speaking of Versace, have you seen the niece that just inherited half the empire? WOW! What a looker, huh? Make you wonder what they have in the drinking water. That girl alone is enough of an argument to make you consider a law where people need a license to mate.

In more exciting news I’m getting cable on Friday. I can’t wait. I’ll then officially waste away my summer. It’s only a matter of time until my first issue of TV Guide comes in the mail. The latest CRL comes out tomorrow. All very exciting stuff. An interesting paragraph like that and I’ll have to really contemplate exactly how many brain cells I’ve killed. I think that might be it for now. I have to go visit ESPN.com for the 49th time today. Until next time.

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