Thursday, August 26, 2004

Metallica, Tranquility, Red Sox Pity, LLRocks.com

A couple of notes and a little news.
Obviously right now, the most exciting thing in my life is that METALLICA IS COMING TO THE PEPSI! Since I saw “Albany show added” I’ve had little else on my mind.
I know, I’ll go right back to my Dungeons and Dragons after the concert.
Fucking Metallica, dude. Metallica are Gods. Musical, little-guy-not-looking-out-for, Gods, but who gives a fuck? Godsmack is opening for them. Godsmack is the opening band. Godsmack is a huge band, which just goes to show you how big Metallica is. Not many groups have that kind of stature. The Stones, Metallica, Dylan…who else? Not even Hasslehof has that kind of drawing power.
School is starting Monday. I’ve already written half a semester’s articles for the piece of shit Chronicle. This being my last semester I would really like to tear everybody a new asshole, but I’ve found myself more and more passive recently. Perhaps it’s the PS2. I guess Saint Rose can thank John Madden and the nice people at EA Sports (It’s in the game) for my lack of general disgust with the population – mostly because I never leave my house to experience these people, but why bother with semantics.
I just took a look at this thing and it’s been over a month since I “blogged.” I don’t know if its because blogs are super gay and it took me two months to come to terms or because I’m just a fat lazy jackass. Little bit of column A – little bit of column B.
I was all ready to go off on why I thought the Yankees and Red Sox should die, but that was back during the Yanks/Sox series. Now a month later they aren’t playing and the media has gone back to really not giving much of a shit about the Red Sox, which is nice. The fucking Yankees are still everywhere, but what are you going to do? With a Republican government we’ll never be rid of those baseball fat cats. What we need here is a middle of the road candidate who will phase out the Yankees which will leave the Red Sox and their fans no reason to continue on with their hollow lives. What I mean to say is, without the Yankees the Red Sox fans would have nothing to obsess about. It’s kind of like the nerdy guy who has a huge crush on the hottest girl in school. In the movies he might stand a chance, but in real life, he’s never going to get to fuck her. All that obsession so that he can jerk off. Which is essentially what the Red Sox do come autumn. Then the Red Sox have renewed optimism while they bitch about how the series was stolen/blown/given away. No matter what happens, the next day all these jackass Sox fans are wandering around with their tails between their legs and yet still saying “We’re going to kick the Yankee’s Asses next year.” They really are an odd species that should be studied. Red Sox fans are Jews-during-Hitler oppressed. The only difference is that some of the Jews survived. No Red Sox fan will ever see the end of this incredible streak of ineptitude, only broken up by flashes of competence that do nothing more than raise hopes up a little higher before sending them crashing to the ground like Dick Van Dyke over the goddamn ottoman. (If you have read a better mixed and twisted metaphor anywhere in the last 7 years, I’ll give you a fucking dollar.)
Another issue that I brought up in my last post was the Lindsay Lohan thing. I hope its soon, but I don’t think I could marry her. She’s a party girl and all – which is cool. However, she’s currently dating Fez – which is Rebecca Romaijn-Stamos confusing. I need a nice girl, like Hilary Duff or Ally Hilfiger.
That is six celebrity references in one paragraph, which is about 4 more than is FDA approved. Honestly, when I start writing a fucking MSNtertainment Gossip column its time to get a fucking life, no?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

its almost been 2 months. write a new entry!
xoxo
lauren