Monday, October 25, 2004

Pieces, pieces, pieces of....this isn't the right fucking song! I'm outta here!

What a worthless bitch Ashlee Simpson turned out to be huh folks? Sorry if I’m a bit obsessed with what could be the beginning of the end for this talent-less dunce, but not much goes on in my life.
I haven’t updated the “blogger” in a while so I thought I’d whip something together and toss it in the old “internet.”
I’m almost done with school. It’s fucking scary to think that soon I won’t have my cushy do-nothing job at Ed Media to go to everyday and I will no longer be able to say “I go to Saint Rose.” I think I might get a job with SECURITY…
We went to Kmart today and I got two new pairs of boxers, so that’s one thing that I’ve done recently. Bombers on Sunday afternoon is a very chill place. You can just order up a few pints with the fellas and get drunk by 4 o’clock, which is nice if you are facing a degree in communications with which I have no idea what I’m going to do. Apparently it’s been so long since I’ve written anything of length that it actually hurts my wrist to sit here and type more than “lol” “nothin” “Chillin” or “bored.” What a big silly a-hole I am!
So what else has been going on? Well, Clean-Up Day, the day where we were going to clean the house never took place. I know, I’m as surprised as you. I actually cleaned my room and knocked out the mountain of dishes in the kitchen. In addition to that I also took back 13 dollars in cans and bottles. I then used the money on a 12 pack of Sam Adams Summer Ale and started the collection of bottles from scratch. And people say I haven’t done anything this semester.
I hate my new phone. Apparently I’ve fucked it up pretty good as the screen goes black or just doesn’t show any icons – which is really awesome. Seriously, I love this flip phone. It’s so necessary like jeans with no panties. Speaking of jeans with no panties, is that really what Jay-Z says in that song? I would think that would be uncomfortable. I’m just sayin…

Boy, I hope you have all been on the edge of your seats reading this shit. I’m still wrestling with my Halloween costume. The Ghostbusters thing doesn’t appear to be moving forward. I know its surprising because our group does such a high percentage of the things we discuss and deem “awesome!” What a bunch of jackasses.
I think I’m going to go as some middle-class white guy who’s fed up with his wife. Like Scott Peterson and all the other guys like him. If any ladies are interested we can make it into a “his n’ her” thing. That is, if any of you ladies want to explain your costume next Sunday by saying “Oh, I’m covered in mud because I was found in a riverbed. I’m trophy-wife, with child” I’ll be carrying around a shovel and a receipt for my new mattress. I might even take it a step further and be the guy that gets away with it. I’ll call my costume, “The American Working Man’s Dream.”

The only other ideas I’ve had are Journey’s Greatest Hits and “guy on ostrich.” I’m not sure which one is more gay. I suppose if the ostrich is female, it’s not gay though. I think that’s all for today. I’ll try….I repeat….TRY to update more regularly. Everyday maybe, but I need somebody to prod me in the ass (in a strictly heterosexual way for this purpose) and keep me writing. It’s not that I’m that unmotivated it’s that I crave attention like the cock. Did I mention the freshman who was excited to meet me? I know what you’re thinking, but no she didn’t have a burlap sack to cover her monstrously large head. She was probably a tad bit retarded, but we’re all God’s children, yada yada yada…

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